In truly hilarious, but typical Eagles fashion, the organization’s first coaching search in 14 years ended right where it began three weeks ago. Chip Kelly will become the next Eagles head coach, bringing with him a fast-paced spread offense that was so successful at Oregon. Assuredly, you will hear skeptics talk about why this is a bad hire: he has no NFL experience, defenses in the NFL are too fast, I’m faster than Nick Foles, yada, yada, yada. And they may be right – no one knows for sure whether a head coach will succeed. Christ, even Bill Belichick sucked in his first head-coaching gig. But after 14 years of Andy Reid, I don’t think someone can rationally argue with this: Eagles fans should be remarkably, inordinately, and excessively excited about Chip Kelly being the next head coach.
First, THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES ARE GOING TO RUN THE FOOTBALL! I swear to Mutombo, I never thought this day would come. The last time I saw this team try to run the football I was 9 and Ricky Watters jerseys were cool. Chip Kelly’s offense is based on the run, in particular two plays: the inside zone read and the outside zone read. I just spent 20 minutes watching these videos and was smiling like a crazy person by myself in my house. See, running the football is exciting! And it produces big plays! After years of criticizing Reid’s pass happy attack, it would be hypocritical for Eagles fans to discount Chip Kelly’s offense which relies almost exclusively on these two run plays.
Second, Chip Kelly only cares about the offensive side of the ball. Now, this may seem like a negative, since the Eagles’ defense was the major problem last year. But check out this piece of info from Oregon’s defensive coordinator: “Aliotti has had total autonomy at Oregon and said Kelly never changed a call in the headset during the last four years.” Can you imagine being a defensive coordinator and having FULL REIGN over your defense, with no obstruction from the head coach? That’s exactly what Jim Johnson had! Kelly will likely have the pick of any defensive coordinator candidate he wants because of this. He still has to pick the right one, but this represents a much better scenario than the one the Eagles were in two years ago, when the Fat Man emptied the field of candidates by hiring a crazy defensive line coach before a coordinator. Those types of things lead to you hiring your O-Line coach to be defensive coordinator. And that’s super bad.
Finally, Chip Kelly has, like, a personality! Consider these fun stories. Kelly mailed a check for $439 to a fan after his first game as head coach when the fan complained about Oregon’s poor play in their loss to Boise State. The media kinda likes him because, although his answers are short and curt, they’re funny as shit! No more “Cough…I have to do a better job…Fart….time’s yours” routines from the Fat Man. Look, he has a great Twitter page dedicated to him! Finally, his friggin’ nickname is BIG BALLS CHIP!! Look at that Urban Dictionary sentence! “It was 4th and 3 with 2 minutes left in the game on our own 35 and the crowd started chanting “Big Balls Chip” as Chip Kelly sent Thomas back out there to get the first.” A;sdapsofjapsdhf I’m so excited I just hemorrhaged.
Look, not everyone is gonna be happy with this hire. Angelo will shit the bed because we didn’t get Mike McCoy from the Broncos. Eskin will cry about not hiring Bradley because we needed defensive help and will whine about not getting the scoop. Fans will say stupid things to each other in the office break room like “College coaches never succeed in the pros” or “You need NFL experience” or “Now we’re definitely gonna keep Vick!” But the fact is, Chip Kelly is the anti-Andy Reid. He’s a run-oriented, funny, well-liked guy who will let his defensive coordinator do his job. For that, we should not just be thankful, we should be jubilant.